13 More Uses For A Dead Kindle … by Alan Dapre

Here are a few more uses for a dead Kindle.

 

101 Uses Dead Kindle Alan Dapre

101 Uses For A Dead Kindle: Grave Stone

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101 Uses For A Dead Kindle: Scales

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101 Uses For A Dead Kindle: Scraper

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101 Uses For A Dead Kindle: Shark Fin

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101 Uses For A Dead Kindle: Knife

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101 Uses For A Dead Kindle: Skates

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101 Uses For A Dead Kindle: Skimming Stone

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101 Uses For A Dead Kindle: Parachute

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101 Uses For A Dead Kindle: Swim Float

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101 Uses For A Dead Kindle: Swing

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101 Uses For A Dead Kindle: Hat

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101 Uses For A Dead Kindle: Collar

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101 Uses For A Dead Kindle: Shield

 

Quick Kindle story> A few months ago my wife left her Kindle on a British Airways domestic flight from Glasgow to London. It was in the pocket attached to the seat in front. Immediately ringing  BA that day the Lost Property Dept replied that the Kindle, if found, would take 3 weeks to arrive and be logged – then details would go online.

Kate offered up the seat number and flight time – stating that it was ‘lost’ just a few hours earlier – but despite all this the Kindle mysteriously disappeared. Now, she wasn’t flying over the Bermuda Triangle so it’s safe to assume that someone nicked it from the seat pocket. Either a passenger on the next flight if the plane hadn’t been checked properly – or a staff member. Sad but true.

A brown Kindle appeared online a few weeks later but it was apparently the wrong type. So that was that. Now Kate has mine and I was forced to buy an iPad – heh heh.

 

 

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101 Uses for a Dead Kindle (well, 10 actually) by Alan Dapre

It’s all in the timing. In early 2011 I was beavering away to create a book called ’101 uses for a dead kindle’ – and had 50 drawings under my belt with 51 more sketched out … when I got sidetracked into illustrating my three Wee Bear ebooks.

Of course – in the fast paced world of publishing – someone beat me to it, leaving me with 50 fully formed Uses For A Dead Kindle with no home. So – cos I’m feeling generous and can’t stand waste, here are a few of my favourites.

More to follow :)

101 Things Dead Kindle Alan Dapre

101 Things To Do With A Dead Kindle: Mondrian Canvas

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101 Things To Do With A Dead Kindle: Blocks Game

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101 Things To Do With A Dead Kindle: Bond Villain’s Weapon

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101 Things To Do With A Dead Kindle: Card

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101 Things To Do With A Dead Kindle: Cricket Box

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101 Things To Do With A Dead Kindle: Cycle Seat

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101 Things To Do With A Dead Kindle: Guillotine

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101 Things To Do With A Dead Kindle: Loo Divider

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101 Things To Do With A Dead Kindle: Ping Pong Bat

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101 Things To Do With A Dead Kindle: Pisa Prop

 

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Ten tired picture book plots

I’ve read hundreds of children’s picture books if not thousands and sometimes it’s hard to tell one from another. Especially when a particular story becomes a best seller and other publishers want to jump on the bandwagon. Trouble is, a bandwagon is usually long gone by the time someone wants to jump on it.

So – here are the most overused plots that I have come across (time and again). I’ll write them as they come to mind.

(1) Fluffy cute creature is afraid of the dark and has to overcome its fear. Helped by the Moon’s light/a cuddle, etc.

(2) Fluffy cute creature says to another fluffy cute creature ‘I’ll always love you’ and goes to great lengths to show it.

(3) Fluffy cute creature runs away and gets lost. Is helped home by other fluffy cute creatures but not before being chased by a not very fluffy cute creature.

(4) Magical change. A caterpillar turns into a butterfly, duckling into a swan, etc. Not very fluffy cute creature becomes a fluffy cute creature. Helps if the plot has a bit of overcoming adversity thrown in.

(5) Odd one out. The main character is a fish out of water but through some special ability that no one else has manages to win over everyone and emerge triumphant. Can link this to number (4)

(6) Child/cute fluffy creature goes off on a voyage of discovery but gets back home in time for tea, or was it just a dream?

(7) Grandma/Old fluffy creature makes a quilt and shares stories with a young child/fluffy creature who adds a piece to the quilt…

(8) The little fluffy cute creature that could … a story about try, try, trying again then trying some more until it becomes, well, really trying.

(9) Cute fluffy creature can’t sleep so tries all sorts of things and eventually falls asleep at daylight.

(10) Peek-a-Boo. Cute fluffy creature/Baby pops out after every page turn. Usually has a mirror on the last page. Boo!

I am sure there are other plots but these ones came to mind.

Do you have other well-worn favourites? By the way, very good books have been written using each of these plots. Owl Babies, Can’t you sleep little bear?, The Hungry Caterpillar. I’m not knocking them, I’m just on the lookout for some original new story lines …

 

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Cuddle Muddle – my picture ebook is now free 25,26,27th April

Well, if you like pandas and you like cuddles then this is the book for you. I’ve made it free several times before and have got quite a few downloads and some nice reviews. If you have a Kindle Fire/Paperwhite or Kindle For Mac/Windows software then you’ll be able to read my colourful story. Helps to have a preschool youngster too :)

Cuddle Muddle Free Alan Dapre

Picture ebook by Alan Dapre

 

What’s it about?

Wee Panda Bear tumbles out of bed and needs a Big Bear cuddle, but without her wee black glasses she gets in a cuddle muddle! She hugs a hippo then cuddles a croc – and until sleepy Wee Bear cuddles Big Bear she just won’t stop!’ 

I’ve blogged about this story in the past so won’t go on. Feel free to have a wee free read on me :)

Cuddle Muddle UK link

Cuddle Muddle US link

Some reviews -

I was recommended this from a friend, and was really pleased. My 3 year old is facinated with my kindle and loves to have a few picture stories on there. She loves the illustrations in this story esp Mummy and Baby Panda! It’s a fantastic little story to keep on your Kindle for emergencies such as a Dr’s surgery waiting room or bus journey when no toys are on hand except my Kindle, unlike some of the other e-books availble for your kindle the illustraitions are of good quality and fit the story well.  Lise 2709

This is an absolutely beautiful book for all little ones that love a big cuddle and big ones that like a wee cuddle!. The book is funny, gentle, heartwarming and the perfect size for a bedtime story. The illustrations are gorgeous – I love the little teddy bear and the firefly. As someone who needed glasses at a very young age, it is especially lovely to see them featured in the story. I look forward to more books from this author. Anna O

 

 

 

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Bad things come in threes.

1) Today I woke up with conjunctivitis. Irritating.

2) Yesterday I was diagnosed with chilblains…to match my arthritis. Thus confirming I am officially an old git.

3) The day before that the hard drive in my Mac computer became an ex-hard drive. To paraphrase Monty Python it has kicked the bucket, shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible!

So there you have it. Three bad things. Wow, this old saying is really accurate. Er…

4) Last week the washing machine broke down. Springs shattered and smashed the insides. It too has kicked the bucket, shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain etc.

5) Just after that a lump of hard core rock flew from the back of a highway maintenance lorry and bounced on my car as I was driving in the fast lane. Left a nasty dent in the bonnet and an even nastier dent in the wallet.

6) The car key snapped in the ignition. Needs to be repaired. £170, I kid you not.

7) My wife has a really bad back at the moment.

8) Daughter has a cold.

9) This damn ipad turns the numeral eight into a smily face.

10) Dog now has arthritis too.

11) It snowed so much the builders could not work on our house for three days.

12) A recent storm caused two big leaks…the Nationwide Building Society sent an assessor in high heels who would not climb a ladder to check the roof or even climb up into our loft because of Health and Safety regs. She said to get a roofer out (at our cost) and she would study his report with a trained eye to see if it was wind damage or poor workmanship. Judging from a bit of paper rather than going up and seeing for herself. Bonkers.

13) Oh I can’t be bowhere’d writing anymore because this ipad is correcting everything I say with women kind of devilishly inaccurate autocorrect software that I have to go back ancharacter every two minutes…see what I mean? Unreadable.

Okay then. Bad news indeed comes in threes…or fours, fives, sixes, hundreds, thousands, all eternity… You name it.

Bad news actually, and very obviously, comes from the point you want to start remembering it. I could go on but the bad news is in have to go to the Mother In Law’s house today…and she can’t walk after knee surgery. Bless.

Have a good day, y’all.

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UK 2013 Budget stigmatises Stay At Home Dads…

A Budget to help “those who want to work hard and get on” tweets George Osborne. Really?

Okay. I teach my daughter all about fairness. I try to be fair myself. I like to think the Govt will be fair too. I thought the centre-ish LibDems would be too.

Until now. Every time I see the smug, privileged faces of George Osborne and Danny Alexander I want to throw something at the computer.  Osborne tweeted that the March 2013 Budget was for those who wanted to work hard and get on, which Danny reiterated in a recent interview with The Telegraph.

Danny boy says it is economically beneficial for mothers to return to the workplace. Sexist idiot.

And therefore NOT economically beneficial to the household finances if they stay at home. Despite the fact that a stay at home Mum or – heavens forbid – a Dad who brings up their child is benefitting the country. Why? They are more likely to nurture a stable, balanced individual who will bring in lots of lovely cash for MPs to spend on second homes and give to poor bankers.

Now I have never taken a penny in benefits – bar child tax credits – btw WHICH I SPENT ON MY CHILD and her Nursery provision.  But – according to The Telegraph -

‘a traditional British family with a stay-at-home mother that is classed by the OECD as well-paid – earning more than double the average wage – will pay 40.5 per cent of their earnings in tax, compared with an international average of 38.6 per cent.’

This is unfair. Hey, two working adults will be able to have credits despite despite earning up to £99,000. While a couple with one working adult and a stay at home mum/dad don’t get benefits at a £60,000 ceiling. Meaning one couple gets a rather stonking tax break, along with their dual tax allowances. I appreciate that £60000 is a lot. So is £99000. My point is that putting a wedge between parents at home and those at work is divisive and UNFAIR.

Either we all get the same tax break or we don’t.

All the recent changes have done is stigmatise me and others who stay at home and care for our children. People who don’t have kids will say that any credit for parents is unfair, ignoring the point that grown up children pay taxes too.

I don’t have ten kids and claim masses of benefits. I have worked for years and paid into the system. I chose to stay at home and bring my kid up. According to Danny’s logic I obviously have done something very very wrong. I am a naughty lazy daddy who does not want to work hard and get on and therefore must stand in a corner. I am sorry I am depriving the Exchequer of money for it to spend on wars and propping up a banking crisis caused by bankers.

Hey, you would have thought that stay at home Dads caused the triple dip recession by lounging about with the stay at home Mums.

I have paid my way by drinking loss of coffee in Starbucks – well, if Starbucks pay their taxes. I have regularly eaten in Morrisons on their Dads, er, Kids Eat Free deal – I mean, that is classy food at £2.95 a head – and probably much better than the subsidised food they get in the House Of Commons or at State Banquets.

I am guilty of wanting to spend time with my daughter, to build a bond and to guide her as she develops through early childhood. I am guilty of forgetting that having children is a sin and that we should all keep our legs crossed and let the human race die out – or at least the plebs.

If Danny & George and David & Nick want to pick a fight they picked on the wrong person. Sadly they don’t think I exist.  I am a stay at home Dad after all – not a Mum.

Politicians? Have they ever done a day’s work? Oh Balls to the lot of them. Mind you, he’s probably just as bad.

 

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‘My Granny is a PIRATE’ by Val McDermid – a review by Alan Dapré

Here’s a new book that has grown on me over the last few months.

‘My Granny is a PIRATE’ by Val McDermid.

My Granny Is A Pirate  by Val McDermid - review by Alan Dapre

My Granny Is A Pirate by Val McDermid - reviewed by Alan Dapre

Imagine your family has a secret that you’re not allowed to tell. Oops, it’s one you just have to share. Granny is a PIRATE! A real life pirate who captures ships but is always home for tea. She has a pirate dog called Jolly Roger and loves searching for treasure.

This is a pretty straight forward rhyming picture book for preschoolers. It is full of pirates and skeletons and corny jokes and punning wordplay. But – it is also written by one of the world’s premiere Crime writers – Val McDermid.

At the inaugural Stirling 2012 Crime Festival – Bloody Scotland – Val McDermid explained how she was approached to write the picture book. The story came fairly rapidly to her and was a welcome break from her usual dark output. That said, this book has plenty of skeletons in the closet (and the passageways) and boasts a rollicking fight near the end.

What I like about the book is its gleeful tinkering with pirate themes. It takes well worn ideas and twists them into something fresh.  Granny captures pirate ships and pirates and bosses everyone about with loads of buckle and swash. She is all action and it is great to see females given a plum role in a picture book.

The child narrator is shown at the start wearing a cap and jeans but – looking suitably tomboyish – could be equally a boy or girl. My four year old daughter loves pirates and thinks this book is all about her Granny. Maybe it is? The ink and watercolour illustrations – by Arthur Robins – are bursting with colour. They shimmer with fun and energy.

On the whole the words in this picture book roll off the tongue and carry the story through to a satisfying conclusion. I won’t tell you what happens to the skeletons but it’s no surprise that the dog gets fed in the end. That said, I found one of the rhymes jarring, e.g. when ‘thought’ is rhymed with ‘fought.’ But that’s a minor niggle.

Val McDermid is refreshingly honest that writing this was a detour from her day job. Here is a writer with sufficient confidence in her abilities to concoct a solid tale, and she knows exactly what tickles a youngster’s funny bone.

Will this book become a classic? No idea. I am just glad it was published while my daughter is going through a fanatical piratical phase. ‘My Granny is a PIRATE’ is a perfect bedtime read. Plenty of laughs and not too scary.

Yo ho ho.

 

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Why not take a peek at my sunny, funny Wee Bear picture ebooks … (available for KindleFires, Paperwhite, Kindle For Mac & Android).

Eggy Leggy - picture book by Alan Dapre

Eggy Leggy - picture book by Alan Dapre

 

‘Eggy Leggy’ -  available on kindle (UK link)

‘Eggy Leggy’ - available on kindle  (US link)

 

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Lost in the Amazon maze

Help.

Yup, that’s little old me stuck somewhere in self-publishing land and wondering what the future holds and – possibly – where’s the Exit?

Something has happened at Amazon HQ. The Like button for a free book has gone as well as the Tags. Free books now seem to have a tenth of the value per download compared to a paid sale as regards ranking. If you used to get high in the Free Charts it would be a gradual free fall down – now after an hour you have dropped like a stone into oblivion, unless you’re very lucky.

Now I was never a fan of the Like idea. I saw writers on many sites, particularly GoodReads, canvas support for their book and offer a tit-for-tat Like service. You scratch my virtual back and I will scratch yours from a distance. Apparently the Likes went into that great mathematical food mixer of an algorithm that Amazon uses … and helped determine a rank.

Tags also helped – and they were much harder to dismiss. Whenever I look for a book I type in various key words which will translate into tags for a search. If a free ebook now has no tags then I cannot reliably or quickly search for a particular type. It seems a bit counter-intuitive of Amazon to do this.

So why the changes? It seems to me that Amazon do a lot of deals with traditional publishers – after all, paper books are sold by the millions on Amazon so it makes sense to keep publishers sweet and not alienate them. Various special arrangements can be cooked up and the free books brigade are none the wiser. For instance, Publishers can list their books under 5 categories while free books are allowed 2. This means publishers have a better chance of being listed in top charts.

I was always amazed at the types of books that hover in the higher reaches of the paid book charts and certain publishers occupy very high and consistent positions as regard their books. Not amazed now.

So how does all this help me? On the plus side, some of the jiggery pokery between free-book authors will be reduced. Reviews will have to take more of a precedent – so I’m not condemned by some malicious tags (such as ‘spammer’ ‘boring’) – rather it will take a longer review and some malicious 1 Star ratings. Much more effort then for anyone being nasty.

As a writer long used to traversing the ups and downs of traditional publishing I find all this chopping and changing a pain in the Amazon. It makes no sense planning ahead or trying to get a book project flying if the rules keep being torn up. There are many sites who profited from listing Free ebooks and they were paid for each session that visitors spent on Amazon after being referred through. This was apparently queering the pitch for other affiliates.

It also meant that Amazon was making less money – free books actually cost Amazon – and they would rather someone come on from a site advertising big goods like washing machines and buy one than deal with people scratting about for a free book and perhaps then buying a bookmark.

This does pose one big question for Amazon to deal with. What happens to people who have bought Kindles in order to gorge on free books? Part of Amazon’s advertising is that it has millions of books available. Now that free ebooks are going to be made less visible there will be a drop in their presence. Less books will be on offer. Probably a lot less. Hopefully though a lot less cr@p too.

So what am I to do?
Sell my books via KDP and make them free 5 days per quarter in the hope I get follow up sales – even though my time at the top of the free charts will be limited?

Or do I make all my books just 99p and take a lower royalty in the hope that people will be buying lesser priced books now that free ones are harder to come by?

Or do I make one of my books permanently free and get out of the KDP scheme? I will have to boost my own website, get in with a book aggregator etc … More work, hmm.

Traditional publishing routes are in flux too. Many educational publishers offer fees instead of royalties. These fees are meant to compensate an author and exceed what they get in normal fixed royalty rates. The cynic in me wonders why they bothered changing things … unless it’s to their advantage.

So the big hitters are manoeuvring between themselves and getting ready for the kill, or ready to get in bed with each other. As for the small fry – it’s a very fishy business and we’re at the mercy of the powers that be. If I’m to be struck down from the world of self-publishing I’ll blame it on an Act of Cod.

Or – shhh – you know who.

 

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Kipper by Mick Inkpen – a review by Alan Dapré

Today I’m reviewing a much loved picture book – er, much loved by me and my little daughter. This time it is Kipper’s A to Z.

I could have chosen from any number of the Kipper books but this one is a future classic and perfect for sharing. Mick Inkpen illustrates as well as writes.

Imagine you are a cute brown and white dog with a fondness for old socks and caterpillars, plus the odd bone and zebra. Yours is a world of gentle humour, meandering adventures and loveable friends. In this book Kipper works his way through the alphabet meeting old friends and new surprises.

There are plenty of unexpected objects associated with the letters of the alphabet – though K is obviously for Kipper. Mick Inkpen ties the narrative to the objects and has plenty of fun on the way. The Zebra keeps popping in wanting to know when it will appear and Kipper keeps shushing it until the right cue.

X is a strange one though – named after the insect that Kipper finds earlier in the book. I don’t think this is a book that strives to teach children the letters of the alphabet – rather it seeks to entertain and hopefully give readers a sense that they are on a journey. Objects begin with letters and letters form an alphabet … very simple really.

I originally met up with Kipper books while teaching in a Primary School – Haddon Primary in Nottingham. A very good school with plenty of good books. My absolute favourite one features Kipper and Tiger in the snow, though I have a fondness for the one where Kipper and Tiger play with a rocket.

Anyone reading Kipper’s A to Z will recognise the gentle charm of the narrator. I now hear the voice of Martin Clunes who narrates the Kipper stories on DVD. It is a warm, cheerful, thoughtful voice which blends well with the slowly unfolding onscreen narratives.

Kipper’s A to Z has been out a decade or so now and still has a resonance today. It was crafted to stay well within Kipper’s world so there are no references to any objects that will date. Don’t expect to see X is for X Box.

Mick Inkpen is someone I’d love to meet – he must have a wealth of stories about his…er…stories. Plus he is the creator of another animal favourite – ‘Wibbly Pig’ who shares Kipper’s sense of adventure.

I am sure that Kipper will become a favourite for every new generation of readers. He is much loved in our household and makes us feel closer to our own real life adventurous dog, Skye.

 

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You might like to consider downloading a sample or two of my sunny, funny Wee Bear picture ebooks … (available for KindleFires, Paperwhite, Kindle For Mac & Android).

 

Cuddle Muddle‘ – available on kindle  (UK link)

Cuddle Muddle‘ – available on kindle  (US link)

‘Wiggle Jiggle’ -  available on kindle (UK link)

‘Wiggle Jiggle’ - available on kindle  (US link)

Eggy Leggy - picture book by Alan Dapre

Eggy Leggy - picture book by Alan Dapre

‘Eggy Leggy’ -  available on kindle (UK link)

‘Eggy Leggy’ - available on kindle  (US link)

 

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‘Eggy Leggy’ – new picture ebook by Alan Dapré

Well, ‘Eggy Leggy’ has finally rolled out.

My pre-school age picture ebook – ‘Eggy Leggy’ – tells the tale of a curious Panda who finds a giant egg outside.  Suddenly Eggy Leggy sprouts legs and runs off.  Wee Bear eggcitedly gives chase. Soon Eggy Leggy surprises Croc then sails over Snail, buzzes by Bee and bounces on Hippo. When Eggy Leggy gets stuck in a tree Wee Bear hatches a plan to set her free.

'Eggy Leggy' is book 3 in my Wee Panda Bear Series

If you have read the previous ebooks – ‘Cuddle Muddle’ and ‘Wiggle Jiggle’ then you will be familiar with Wee Bear and her colourful adventures. ‘Cuddle Muddle’ was all about hugs and bedtime fears. ‘Wiggle Jiggle’ explored birthdays and surprises.  ’Eggy Leggy’ deals with issues such as making friends or being curious. It ends with Wee Bear helping shy Eggy Leggy come out of her shell.

I’ve illustrated the book to appeal to young readers, and the vibrant colours look great on a tablet computer screen. Anyone with a Kindle Fire will be able to  download a copy easily from Amazon stores. It can be viewed on the Paperwhite and on Mac or PC computers using the Kindle For Mac/Kindle For PC software.

I’m already getting great feedback, indicating these books are perfect for parents who want a quality ebook to share with their young ones. Rolling eggs and Easter are made for each other. Why not have a wee read yourself? :)

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Other books in the Wee Panda Bear Series:

‘Wiggle Jiggle’  – available on Amazon (UK link)

‘Wiggle Jiggle’ - available on Amazon (US link)

Cuddle Muddle‘ – available on kindle  (UK link)

Cuddle Muddle‘ – available on kindle  (US link)

 

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Grumpy Old Man – Volume 1

Things that annoy me – in no particular order.

> Drivers who don’t gesture ‘Thanks’ when I pull in to let them go by.
> Not being able to find the end of the Sellotape.
> Mobile phones lighting up the cinema during a film.
> Waiting at a CheckOut till for ages then the shop assistant sticks up a Closed sign.
> Kids’ rides in shops costing £1 and lasting about thirty seconds.
> Politicians moving to a new Department and pretending to be an instant expert.
> Dog owners who don’t pick up their pet’s mess. Or stoop and pretend to do it.
> Marmite lids that refuse to open.
> Children running under the tables in a restaurant while their parents smile indulgently.
> Receptionists who judge whether I am ill enough to merit a Doctor’s appointment.
> Over-priced crisps in a Pub.
> Shopping aisles too narrow to push a trolley.
> Faith schools pushing their own religion and not really giving children other options
> Having to pay for more legroom on a plane.
> Having to stand on a train when I’ve paid for a seat.
> Solicitors charging a fortune (plus VAT) to visit sick people in hospital.
> Talentless talent shows.
> Celebrities who have done nothing to warrant celebrity.
> Pretending to get tough with Bankers’ bonuses despite us all being shareholders.
> Being told I’m grumpy when I’m actually in a good mood.
> Being blamed for the dog’s farts.
> Bishops who bash gays when they are secretly gay.
> Finding slugs in the kitchen by stepping on one in bare feet.
> Not remembering what I was trying to remember.
> One pence coins.

 

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Name 20 kids’ TV shows? Some clues to each …

The clues are either descriptive or cryptic or both!
All the TV shows have been broadcast in the UK, some going back to the 1960′s. The clues  refer to things that reminded me about each show. Some are quite abstract and may require some thought, er, Googling.

See how many you can get. I have an unfair advantage as I have written for TV… though it was a while back.

Feel free to share the page/love/brain ache. Here goes -

1) An incontinent elephant
2) Cor … Crikey
3) Paper suitcase
4) Unearthly whistles
5) Boy with Glasses
6) Fruity dog
7) Shopkeeper
8 ) Zip
9) Litter
10) Jeremy Irons
11) Plasticine man
12) Wooden Professor
13) Superhero fruit
14) Tinsel coat hangers
15) Windy Miller
16) Welsh transport
17)  Just say no.
18) Hat with annoying bell
19) Hare and Pig
20) Amazing Bear

See how many you get … why not post the answers below in the comment box and see how you get on?

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Elmer: The Patchwork Elephant – reviewed by Alan Dapré

Okay – I’m reviewing much loved picture books – er, much loved by me that is. Being incredibly ancient I have read lots of children’s picture books over the years … and I’m writing about the ones that really impress me. Feel free to offer up your own views (and books).

So today I’m reviewing ‘Elmer’ – the patchwork elephant – written and illustrated by David McKee.

Elmer the patchwork elephant by David McKee

Elmer - book review by Alan Dapré

Imagine you are a patchwork coloured elephant surrounded by grey elephants. It’s a dull life for everyone and the only bright bits come from Elmer, who has a zest for life. But Elmer wonders what life is like for dull grey folk and disguises himself to match his friends. Now no one knows where Elmer is and everyone wonders where the fun has gone …

I won’t go on or I’ll spoil the gentle twist. This book is justifiably a classic because of its strong plot, simple narrative style and fabulous character creation. In only a few words David McKee conjures up the spirit of Elmer – ‘It was Elmer who kept the elephants happy. Sometimes he joked with the other elephants, sometimes they joked with him. But if there was even a little smile, it was usually Elmer who started it.’ (Text Copyright David McKee)

Adults who are reading with their children will guess the plot twists, though young readers will delight in them. The illustrations cleverly support the words and make everything easy to understand …

We are taken on a simple journey of pachydermic (self) discovery and are left with the conclusion that it’s best just to be yourself … appearances don’t matter, it’s all to do with how you act not what you look like. In a world that increasingly celebrates surface values it’s a relief to have a book that invites children to look a little deeper. Written in 1989 it still resonates today – perhaps even more so – and is a must-have story.

I once met David McKee when he came to Nottingham and I was a newly qualified teacher. Elmer had just come out and he was happily reading aloud and sketching his creation on big sheets of paper. This is the man who brought us ‘Mr Benn‘ in the early 1970′s – another favourite of mine. Like ‘Mr Benn’, David McKee excels in exploring magical worlds and characters. There is a gentle warmth throughout his work and an obvious love for his creations.

So if you want your child to think a little more about others and reflect on what makes us so similar then this is the perfect book. Best of all, there are at least ten in the Elmer Series. I have my favourites … and soon you will have too.

***

You might like to consider downloading a sample or two of my sunny, funny Wee Bear picture ebooks … (available for KindleFires, Paperwhite, Kindle For Mac & Android).

Cuddle Muddle by Author Alan Dapré

Cuddle Muddle by Alan Dapré

Cuddle Muddle‘ – available on kindle  (UK link)

Cuddle Muddle‘ – available on kindle  (US link)

Wiggle Jiggle Picture ebook by Alan Dapre

Wiggle Jiggle - picture book by Alan Dapré

‘Wiggle Jiggle’ -  available on kindle (UK link)

‘Wiggle Jiggle’ - available on kindle  (US link)

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‘Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see?’ reviewed by Alan Dapré

As a professional author, occasional illustrator and former primary teacher (oh, and current At-Home-Dad) I have come across many children’s picture books. I thought I would blog about the ones I like the best, giving reasons why they are so brilliant. There is no definitive list – I will write about the ones that really strike a chord with me (and my wee girl).

First up is ‘Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see?’ written by Bill Martin Jr & illustrated by Eric Carle of ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ fame.

 

Brown Bear Brown Bear - review by Alan Dapre

This book is one that I often read to my daughter and put aside only to find she would crawl over to her book box and pluck it out. Many a time she would plonk it in my lap, snuggle up and open the cover – all with a look of expectation and impatience.

The text has a gentle rhythm and satisfying flow as it repeats throughout the book. ‘Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see? I see a …. looking at me.’ The bear sees another animal that in turn sees another … until children come in sight. In one version a teacher features but our version just has the animals.

By 18 months – and just a few weeks after getting the book –  my daughter was ‘reading’ it herself, turning pages and saying the words aloud from memory. It was a joy to behold. She loves to commit texts to memory and say them aloud in the car, while drawing etc.

For me, the real delight is in the inspired illustrations. They are (I think) made by careful placing of coloured tissue paper. Sometimes the paper overlaps to create satisfying blocks of darker colour. The ripped edges add to the appeal.

At the front and back of the book Eric Carle added pages decorated with just strips of colour which meant my daughter could see all the colours that related to each animal featured in the book. Soon she was able to name each colour and use this skill in everyday life. Her collage work began in earnest – and she now enjoys creating pictures out of brightly coloured torn paper.

I rated this book so highly I gave a spare copy to the local doctor’s surgery so that other children could happily enjoy the captivating words and pictures.

What more can I say? If you like colourful, engaging children’s picture books that feature dynamic rhymes and lots of animals then this is the book for you & your child.

***

Of course, you might also like to consider downloading a sample or two of my cute Wee Bear picture ebooks :)

Cuddle Muddle‘ – available on kindle  (UK link)

Cuddle Muddle‘ – available on kindle  (US link)

‘Wiggle Jiggle’ -  available on kindle (UK link)

‘Wiggle Jiggle’ - available on kindle  (US link)

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To be (free) or not to be (a free ebook) …

on Amazon …

Well, I made my ebook ‘Cuddle Muddle‘ free for two days last week and plugged it on some Freebie sites, Twitter & Facebook, taking advice from some ‘so called’ ebook Gurus. One had a list of 50 freebie sites and I dutifully accessed some of them, putting my details in a few days before my book was due to go free on KDP Select. Some of the sites required a listing on the Free day so I got up early and did that chore too.

Now the fun started and I watched my KDP reports page to see how many people were downloading a free copy. After a slow start my book began to go from 220000 up to 6000 and then to 2000 in the Free Book rankings. By the end of the two days it had peaked at 715. So what were the scores on the doors for my KindleFire colour picture ebook for preschoolers?

600 + downloads.

Now I was pretty pleased with that especially as I made a cack-handed fist of self-promotion on Twitter. So after the two free days were over I attempted some analysis.

I reckoned most of the downloads came from the Freebie sites so I wouldn’t be getting many sales of the companion ebook  ‘Wiggle Jiggle’ from that. Those who buy freebies tend to, er, buy more freebies. It takes a lot to convince readers to part with their dosh when so many good (and bad) ebooks are freely floating around the web. By all accounts about 50000 are released each day … which makes my position of 715 not bad at all.

So how come I did okay? I also reckon some downloaders are only interested in how I managed to create my Fixed Layout ebook and have downloaded it to pick it apart with their software.

So how many downloaders will buy my next book and be interested in any others? That is the real question and I’m erring on the pessimistic side here. That’s probably realistic. I am lucky to have a track record in traditional publishing and that has helped with creating an interest, if not a buzz, but I don’t expect to break any sales records – just yet!

I thought it would be fun to see how many ebooks these gurus are selling. I was surprised to discover that all the ones I had read were selling books ranked lower than 2 million. Yet their sites acted as if they were storming the charts and selling millions. I guess it is wise to always question the advice you get on the web.

In a few weeks time I will probably make another ebook free and see how that goes. When my KDP select time is up in two months I will probably duck out of it and promote my stuff on my site and with sellers other than just Amazon. I don’t like having my eggs all in one basket. No one knows how the ranking/sales algorithms work. I certainly don’t.

What also struck me as my book lodged at number one in the Animals>Bears category in the Free list was the dross that was being bought alongside in the Paid list. Really badly drawn books with dull narratives were coining it in. Most had a low price point so I guess that readers were just having a punt, but a few were priced high and still selling.

I could see that these ones had the same sort of Tags and these Tags were liked, and that must help get the book’s ranking up.

It’s all just a game really, and one that doesn’t pay off for the professional picture book author and illustrator. Personally I like dealing with a traditional publisher who can offer editorial advice and an advance. Such deals are never easy to come by but they are always worth having.

I shall continue creating ebooks while writing my ‘traditional’ books – and it’ll be interesting to see how this ever changing ebook market pans out. If you have any comments feel free to drop me a line by clicking ‘Leave a comment’ below.

 

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